The Kidz Bop Remake of Lil Nas X’s “Montero,” Reviewed

Musical cover brand Kidz Bop has made quite a name for itself by releasing kid-friendly renditions and remakes of popular radio hits, famously changing the lyrics of Cardi B’s “WAP” from “There’s some whores in this house” to “There’s some doors in this house.”

And who can forget the questionable vocal stylings around the three-minute mark of the Kidz Bop version of Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together”?

But Kidz Bop has truly outdone itself with their new kid-focused remake of Lil Nas X’s “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” — a song with lyrics about doing cocaine, having sex with a man, and experiencing “jet lag from fucking and flying.”

In the de-queered and coke-free Kidz Bop version of the Billboard No. 1 single, the narrator still experiences jet lag, but this time from “living and flying.”

But given that there are multiple lines about, well, doing lines, the changes had to be more substantial than a mere word swap here and there. Let’s not forget that, despite the way in which “Old Town Road” took elementary schools by storm, Lil Nas X is still an adult who makes music for adults. For example, the entire verse:

Cocaine and drinking with your friends

You live in the dark, boy, I cannot pretend

I'm not fazed, only here to sin

If Eve ain't in your garden, you know that you can

…was changed to:

Singin’ and dancin’ with your friends

You live in the dark, yeah, I cannot pretend

I’m not fazed, only here to win

If you ain’t in the garden, you know that you can

There were also significant changes in the visuals accompanying the song. Lil Nas X’s Montero video had a budget, taking place in a whimsical Garden of Eden setting in which we see Nas in all of his glory. Replete with both Biblical references and allusions to Greek mythology, Nas X positioned himself as Adam singing about his gay lover. The Kidz Bop video, on the other hand, features children from multicultural backgrounds having some poolside fun. Not quite as symbolically rich, but maybe a bit easier for a four-year-old to follow.

Now obviously, some of the lyrics deserved modification given that the original song was not intended for children. But the songwriters behind the remake also opted to remove any and all lyrics that reference or attribute to Nas’s queerness. (Notice in the above verse, for instance, that “You live in the dark, boy,” was changed to “You live in the dark, yeah.”)

In a now-viral video, TikTok user @Combat_Ostrich pointed out how any lyrics that were even remotely queer in expression were nixed in the Kidz Bop version. When a TikTok commenter asked whether they took out the word “boy,” @Combat_Ostrich cheekily replied, “Yes, they did. In fact, they took out all references that the song is written about a man from the perspective of another man. I wonder why on earth they would have done that?”

We can’t help but notice, by contrast, that the Kidz Bop cover of “Shallow” from A Star is Born, has no problem with star-crossed lovers calling each other “girl” and “boy” instead of “yeah.” Seems like certain kinds of desexualized romance are still considered kid-safe and others are pointedly off limits. Hmm...

But Lil Nas X appears to be taking the un-gaying of “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” in stride, posting the lyrics on Twitter last week.

Highlighted in Lil Nas X’s screenshot was a line that originally read “I wanna feel on yo’ ass in Hawaii” and that now reads “I wanna lie on the beach in Hawaii.”

Same difference.

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