Being a monarch is a tough gig, but there are perks – like getting to swan around in the Crown Jewels while everyone else is just wearing a nice watch. It hasn’t always been plain sailing, though...
You know that thing where you really want to invade France but you just don’t have the savings for it? In a desperate bid to fulfil his Franco-invasion dreams and make the Battle of Agincourt a reality, Henry V pawned some of the Crown Jewels, using a diamond and ruby crown that had once belonged to Richard II to secure his loans. Definitely preferable to an IOU scribbled on the back of a receipt.
With a secret longing to be the next Meryl Streep, Anne of Denmark, wife of James I, often trod the boards, appearing in Shakespeare plays wearing pieces from the Crown Jewel collection. Things sometimes came back broken but, you know, if the part demands it...
William IV’s coronation crown was so heavy it made his already raging toothache beyond excruciating on the big day.
When a serious bout of gout was made worse by the weight of the Crown Jewels, Queen Anne had to be carried up the aisle at her own coronation in 1702.
During the State Opening of Parliament in 1845, the Duke of Argyll, who was carrying the Imperial State Crown on a cushion, awkwardly let it slip off and crash to the ground. Queen Victoria described it as ‘all crushed and squashed, looking like a pudding that had sat down’.
In other Queen Victoria news, the smaller version of the coronation ring that had been made for her investiture turned out to be SO small that the archbishop had to literally force it onto her finger. According to her diary entry, it was jolly painful to take off.
Worrying that the Archbishop of Canterbury would not be able to tell the back from the front of the St Edward’s Crown, George VI helpfully tied some red cotton to the back. Unfortunately, someone then took it off – and the King was crowned back to front.
An enormous diamond suddenly fell out of the Imperial State Crown during George III’s coronation, sparking a frantic search. It was eventually found again, but ‘not without some trouble’.
The Koh-i-Noor diamond in the Queen Mother’s crown supposedly carries a curse: ‘He who owns this diamond will own the world but will also know all its misfortunes. Only God, or a woman, can wear it with impunity.’ That’s why only female royals wear it.
There has only been one real attempt to steal the Crown Jewels – in what might have been known as the Thomas Blood Affair had it not gone wrong. In 1671, Colonel Thomas Blood disguised himself as a preacher, stabbed the old deputy keeper of the Crown Jewels to death and then tried to do a runner with the St Edward’s Crown and sceptre. Rather bizarrely, he was given a royal pardon, had his lands restored and was awarded a pension. To this day, no one knows why...
