Body Language Critical to Success -What are you really saying...

Walk into a meeting and you see your best 'friend' at the workplace with their arms crossed and you both gander quickly at each other realizing something is or has just gone down. Never a single word was uttered to one another yet, you know without a doubt, your work buddy might need a moment to chat. In the same vein, you can walk into a meeting or a room and see someone totally energized and smiling and you know that person is either paid really super well or is potentially in a great mood. Body language sends a message non verbally and managing your body language both in sending and receiving is critical to your personal and professional success.

Conscious or unconscious body language messages are emitting from you all of the time. There was a time when I was invited into meetings just to assure the CEO that those in the meeting were all on board, and who might not be. The tiny nuances a human makes during a communication interaction is quite fascinating and so telling.

• A simple cough can signal insecurity... Do you know that person who hasn't quite figured out how to approach you and uses a 'cough' as a nervous tick or conversation starter.

Body language can say no while your words say yes. Words can describe pain and your body can relay calm. Body Language behaviors include facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space. Body language exists in both animals and humans. With my extensive experience working with animals and being in business for over 35 years, I know all to well how important it is to watch every subtle movement including the eyes.

• Hands clasping the chair arms can signal mistrust or nervousness, yet open, so to display fearlessness... (good for performance reviews or interviews) But try not to hold on for dear life; a light hold is sufficient. No white knuckling.

The current generation seems to be less interested in their body language and more interested in the number of likes or replies to a post in social media. Us more seasoned generation know all to well how body language sends messages and can give us an advantage in communication. As a leader we can use our experience to quickly adjust to what a newbie employee might need by just watching their body language. So many messages in their body language, use it to empower and support.

• A firm and friendly handshake is best versus knuckle cruncher...(we've all been there wrestling for the title)

Let go of my hand -oh my gosh... it hurts! But we have all fought through that knuckle cruncher of a handshake because it is like a contact sport as to who can 'take the pain'. That's an over the top handshake and you will leave an indelible impression and it can be considered as 'over compensation' as well as too aggressive. When I get a handshake like that I wonder in my thoughts, what was that all about. Good eye contact during a firm and friendly handshake says it all versus reconstructing someones knuckles. Take it from a person who has shook literally thousands of hands.

• Good rule of thumb for congruent mind body relations and emissions is to for sure be honest and authentic...

Congruent thoughts and actions will net you positive body language emissions. However, if you wear your thoughts and emotions on your sleeve you'll have to brush up on managing your body skills so you EMIT the messages you want to emit.

1. Be completely honest.
2. Be aware of your physical body and your movements of everything.
3. Think first before your speak. That gives your brain time to get your body to cooperate.
4. Never shake your head no when you really mean yes and vice versus. It's almost impossible to do but good negotiators can. If you are engaged, let them know via a head nod or solid eye contact.
5. Confidence is good over confidence and over confidence is easily detected because it has a layer of condescension or aggression. Pull back on those eye movements and facial smirks, hear the whole story then make your move.
6. Smile when you are happy and let others see that too. You can't be bummed all the time.
7. To show someone you can be trusted, let them speak without interruption and keep their line of eye contact. Nod when you agree and notate for later what you'd like to address. If the person you are listening to is extremely long winded, politely ask if you can interject something. See how their body language reacts to that.

Be a good observer and practice practice practice. My success comes from watching and listening to what people aren't saying via their words. I hope your body wasn't tensing while you read this article... I hope you read it till the end! :)