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22 Screenshots Of Hilarious Internet Comments That Made Me Spit-Take All Over My Desk

"NEVER READ THE COMMENTS?!" HA! WHAT ABOUT THESE?!

There's a reason people often advise you to NEVER READ THE COMMENTS! They're generally bad — in every way a comment can be bad. But sometimes, rising above the poor grammar, casual bullying, and confused responses is a comment that's actually...good! No, make that GREAT!

Here, let me show you! Below are 22 comments so brilliant they outshone the thing they were responding to:

1. Not going to lie, this commenter made me choke on my Diet Coke:

A police officer on a bicycle has flame tattoos on his calves, and the comment says "This is because firearms were not allowed"

2. And this commenter's reply made me go "Oof!":

A joke says "I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her personal trainer and said OK, this is isn't working out," and a comment says "guess she was having a cheat day"

3. This commenter is probably still living off the high of making this joke (I know I would be):

A truck driver has parked his truck next to a large trailer and using the trailer as a screen to project a movie onto; the comment response says "he's watching a trailer"

4. This comment had me Dublin over with laughter:

A question on Reddit asks "what would you do if potatoes suddenly vanished," and a response with an Ireland flair says "Ah lads not again"

5. We all owe Ronnoc527 a debt of gratitude for walking into this one:

A joke says "What's the difference between a tuna, piano, and a pot of glue? You can tune a piano but you can't piano a tuna;" a comment says "and the glue?" and the original joke teller says "I knew you'd get stuck on that"

6. These commenters had perfect (albeit maybe a little sacrilegious) responses to a cheeky question:

A picture of a statue of Jesus with washboard abs asks "Someone know what part of the Bible describes the workout routine to get the body of Christ?" And two comments respond "Crossfit" and "nailed it"

7. And Sarah Silverman popped into this thread to do what Sarah Silverman does:

Actors Kumail Nanjiani, Kunal Nayyar, and Kal Penn have a Twitter thread where they joke about being mistaken for each other, and Sarah Silverman responds "Why do you have three accounts?"

8. This commenter knew EXACTLY what breed this doggo was, LOL:

A picture of a small dog with impressive muscle definition in its shoulders, and the comment says "Jacked Russel Terrier"

9. And this commenter came through with another A+ dog joke:

A dog is sleeping inside the mouth of a pillow shaped like a shark, and a commenter responds "That poor shark looks like he has a loose canine"

10. This commenter gifted us an epic block of an attempted #RickRoll:

A joke sets up that someone will have to answer with the chorus from Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up," but a commenter instead says "Never going to give you the fucking satisfaction"

11. And this commenter — bless them — turned someone's homophone error into comedy gold:

A picture of cinnamon rolls has a caption that says "just made some synonym rolls," and the commenter responds "just like grammar used to make"

12. A literal Karen popped in with an A+ reply, only to be hilariously upstaged by the next commenter:

A person asks what piece of pop culture has ruined your name, someone says "My name is Karen, do you have to ask?" and a third person adds "to see the manager?"

13. The comedy in this comment was...fruitful:

A picture says "who you gonna call" over a brand called Goats Butter, and a commenter says "I am suspicious of the pineapple though"; in the photo, you can see a brand of pineapple juice called Innocent

14. You're going to want to let your eyes "Rome" down to the comments on this baby:

Under a picture of overpriced Caesar salad, one person says it's named that because it makes you want to stab people, a second says "Et tu, lettuce?" and a third says "Bru'tal response"

15. This commenter had a legendary response:

Under a photo of an alligator in Texas with a knife stuck in its head, a commenter says "Whoever removes the knife is the king of Texas"

16. You really gotta hand it to this commenter:

A picture of a photoshopped person on the moon makes their spacesuit look like there's only legs and a head, and a commenter says there was an "early international agreement to keep arms out of space"

17. This commenter saw a cute joke and decided to make it even cuter:

The joke says "What do you call a mouse that swears? A cursor" but spelled like the cursor of a computer mouse, and the commenter responds "took a while for that to click"

18. And this commenter took things in an unexpected direction:

Someone makes a chess joke, and the commenter responds "I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves, finally my high school karate lessons paid off"

19. This commenter dropped the funniest — and legit best alternate Russian Starbucks name — anyone could ever think of:

A post says former Starbucks are called Stars Coffee in Russia, while the commenter replies "was tsar bucks taken," with tsar spelled like the Russian leadership position

20. This commenter saw an opportunity for an expert-level pun and did NOT let it go by:

A photo of a PlayStation 5 controller box shows someone ripped the box open and stole the controller; the commenter says "now it's an ex-box controller"

21. This commenter hilariously extrapolated on the OP's joke:

The joke says "will you marry me" is a foursome proposal if you break up the words individually; a commenter says "will you, Mary me" is a cavewoman trying to make an amnesiac named Will remember both her and himself

22. And lastly, this commenter left a hilariously dirty response to an absolutely adorable joke:

The joke says "what did zero say to 8; nice belt;" the response says "what did zero say to Q; you are a sick fuck, tuck that back in"

H/T: r/TheRealJoke