Notes from the Bartender

I’m at that awkward stage of one’s life when almost all my friends, without exception, are frantically breeding like rabbits. Something happens to humans at a certain age… one moment they are crushed next to you at a bar at some ungodly hour yelling into your ear about their hedonistic exploits and spilling Jagermeister into your lap; the next they are cradling a screaming scrap of furious, poo-smelling humanity and thrusting it under your nose desperate to hear you confirm it is, indeed, the most radiant child on Earth.

It can be a disturbing experience, one that can, and in my case does, send you screaming back to the safety of a darkened bartop and the company of someone, anyone, currently unfettered to an infant. It’s also slightly sad that, while you may have spent a lifetime attempting to be a good, faithful pal and scrupulously honest in every facet of your dealings with your oldest friends, when they shove their newborn at you and tell you “Isn’t he/she/it just gorgeous?”, it takes a Herculean effort not to leap to your feet and sing the truth out to the rooftops.

“NO, NO IT’S NOT. IT’S GOT SCALES ON ITS HEAD. AND IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE YOU, IT LOOKS LIKE A WHISKY SODDEN WINSTON CHURCHILL”

Needless to say, I don’t get many invites to christenings.

However, finally I’ve found the sort of baby I can coo over for hours. Meet Yun Zi, the five month old baby panda who resides at San Diego Zoo.

Sad he's been born in prison and will, no doubt, have an arranged marriage

What a cutie. Although it has to be said, Yun Zi has a future life that is somewhat mapped out for him, rather like Prince Charles only without the big ears and the drug addled harpist. Here’s what San Diego Zoo CEO, Douglas Myers said yesterday…

We expect Yun Zi to become an ambassador for conservation, one of the many animal here at the San Diego Zoo helping to connect people to wildlife

No pressure then young ‘un. Wednesday was his first media appearance and Associated Press got some excellent action footage.

Here’s Yun Zi showing off his climbing skills… reminds me of myself a couple of weeks ago, bless.

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Filed under: Media, Film & Television, Nature, Science and Technology, Parenting | Tagged: Baby, Baby Panda, Cute, Panda, San Diego Zoo |